my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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