You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
