Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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