ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
