So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize