We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
