dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it glows. i had to have it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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