The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
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