I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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