I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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