Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
