That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize