it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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