I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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