Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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