when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
