OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it hurts more in the daytime
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
