Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
pray to the hookup gods
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
