So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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