Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
