Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
