we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
