I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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