If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
