proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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