I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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