If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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