I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
