i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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