We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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