in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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