Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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