Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
