The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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