Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
