I'm really into asian looking animals
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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