stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
