I seem to have left my pride at pride
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
