when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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