we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We had to coat check the pizza.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
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holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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