Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
