hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
