I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
