i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
