we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize