This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
