omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
