I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
