The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
