And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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