You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize