A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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