I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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