There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
