I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
