I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
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i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
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