carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
